Purity
Oh I am so pure. Don't touch me!
Why?
Because you will pollute me.
Who, me?
Yes, you.
But, how can I?
You will, somehow.
Is that so?
Yes.
Okay, then go away.
No, I don't want to.
Why?
Because I like it here.
But then you will get polluted.
No, I won't.
Are you sure?
Yes I am.
But what if I touch you? Won't you get polluted?
I don't know.
What you don't know?
I don't know why I want to stay here. Would you tell me?
I have already told you.
You did not tell me.
Yes I did.
But when?
So many times, but you did not understand.
I did not understand?
Yes you did not.
How can that be? I am a good person at keeping and understanding relationships, how can you say I did not understand when you told me?
Because you did not understand.
Do not make things more complicated for me.
Am I making things complicated?
Yes you are.
I think it is the other way round.
Means?
I think you are making things complicated for everybody.
No I am not.
Yes you are.
But I just want to stay.
And not be touched?
Yes.
That is something you don't understand.
Means.
It is as simple as this.
As simple as what?
As simple as, you cannot have the cake and eat it too.
Oh yes I can have and eat it too!
This is what you don't understand.
Oh yes I do, how will I not have the cake and eat it too? That is not an Escheresque impossibility.
Oh yes it is! And this is the precise thing that you are not understand.
But I am not mathematically minded.
You do not have to be mathematically minded to understand this.
So, if I was mathematically minded would I have understood?
Even if you were, I am doubtful whether you would be able to understand. I know of mathematicians who fail to understand this.
So is there no way for me?
Yes there is.
What is it?
Please go away.
But why should I?
Because you don't belong here, this is
my place.
Friends
But cannot I have shelter here? I am all alone and lonely?
Are you really?
Yes I think so.
I don't think so.
Why?
When you need to talk, you always find people to talk to.
No I don't. I don't have any friends left anymore.
Why?
All of them abandoned me.
Why?
I don't know the reasons. I had been so nice to all of them.
Were you really?
Yes I was?
Then why did they broke up with you?
They tried to wake me up from my dreamworld. A world where all the things that I do were perfect.
But did they do anything wrong then?
Yes they did.
If they tried to wake you from dream world, what wrong they did?
Yes, they did. Trying to wake me up from my dreamworld, was the precisely wrong thing they did.
But how can that be wrong?
Why not, I want to live in a dreamworld, I am so happy there, why wake me up?
But what happens when dream clashes with the real world. They would be shattered, won't they? You should see Requiem for a Dream, then maybe you will understand.
I am not thinking about that.
That is what your friends tried to tell you.
I don't think so.
They tried to rob me from what little happiness that I had, and still I have in my dream world.
I think they were concerned about you and your future.
They were not. They were just not happy, because I was happy.
How can you say that?
I just know.
Know what?
That people cannot stand it, when I am happy.
But happy for what?
Happy for anything.
Even living in dream world and making castles in the air?
But I was not making castles in the air?
But your friends thought so?
Did they?
Yes and a lot many of them.
But they wanted to take my dream away from me.
So?
That is not right, everybody has right to their own dream.
Yes they do.
Then why were they after me to abandon my dream.
Because they thought it was not good for you.
But I would like keep my dream, they won't let me keep it.
At what cost?
At any cost!
Then you have paid the cost.
How?
By abandoning your friends, instead of abandoning your dream.
Is that so?
Yes precisely.
But I thought they left me, not the other way round.
No, it is not so.
Why?
How can be so many people be wrong about your dream?
They are jealous!
Jealous? For what?
For me being happy.
But if they were friends of yours, how can be they jealous of your happiness?
They were not friends to begin with.
Then?
They were just compromises I had made.
Is that so?
Yes.
But then so am I, just a compromise.
I don't know.
Tell me one thing what is so special about this dream, that you abandoned all your friends for that.
It is an imported dream.
So?
What so? Tell me how many imported dreams you get, a very few indeed.
Ok. Any other specialty of this dream?
Yes.
Tell me about it.
This dream is blind.
What do you mean?
Yes, the dream cannot see people, as it is blind as bat, especially during day time.
And yet you want to hold on to it?
Yes because it is
my dream, and it cannot hurt me in any way.
Since you have made [and will eventually make] so many sacrifices for your dream, I think it must be worth those sacrifices you have made.
I don't know.
What do you mean?
I am not so sure whether the dream will be worth the sacrifices I have made.
They why did you make them?
Well this is
my life, and I don't need you ir anybody to tell me what to do with it.
But you only had asked about it?
Did I?
Yes you did?
Well don't tell me then, what to do with my life and my dream. They are mine and I won't tolerate any interference with it.
Even if it ruins you?
Yes. And what do you care? As I have already told you, it is my life. So stay away from it!
But that is what I am precisely asking you to do.
Meta-Thinking
What do you mean? I do not understand?
To stay away from me.
I cannot.
You cannot.
Why?
Because you do not capacity or the ability to think about what other person is thinking.
How can you say that?
Why not?
I am above the age of formal operational stage of Piaget.
But you still cannot do meta-thinking.
I don't think so.
How?
I know all your motives and what you want from me. I know all of your kind, and what they want from my kind.
Is that so?
Yes.
Then tell me what do I want from you?
You and all your kind are all the same.
Ok. Agreed. And I am proud of it.
How can you say that?
Why, is it not my life? Can't I do anything with it, the way I want.
Not when I am involved.
Is it not hypocritical of you, to say this?
No it is not.
Why?
Because I am special, everybody should take care of me.
What makes you special?
My charms!
I am not charmed any more.
It is not possible!
Why?
You cannot.....
I cannot what? It is my life and my place, I can, and
I do.
So?
So just stay away.
But I have told you, I don't want to stay away.
Then abandon your dream, but still then I am not sure of allowing you to .
Don't tell me what to do with my life.
Ok.
Why are you treating me so?
You should better know. You have the ability to meta-think don't you?
Ok. So give me reasons.
I have no reasons.
What do you mean you have
no reasons?
I have no reasons for my behavior, and even if I have, I am not obliged to share it with you.
Why?
Because there are no reasons, only choices.
Only choices?
Yes.
I don't understand this.
You made some choices, you did not ask anybody and did not listened to anybody.
So?
So likewise why do you want to interfere with choices that I make?
Because it involves me!
The choices you made involved me.
So what, I have already told you, don't interfere with my life.
Then I am sorry, you must leave. This is
my dream.
Why?
Every place has its rules, if you don't follow them you don't belong there.
But I don't care about rules.
But others do.
So?
Thats why you must leave.
I don't understand you or your logic.
Is that my problem?
Yes it is, should it be not?
No.
Why?
I have stopped taking responsibilities which are not mine?
Why?
I don't benefit from them.
But still you should.
Why?
For me.
No way.
Why?
You are not worth it.
You don't mean it.
Yes I do.
All of you are torturing me.
Are we?
Yes you are.
You are torturing yourself and others also.
How?
You have the ability to meta-think, don't you? Think about it.
I can't.
So be it.
Relationships
But we do have a relationship.
You are wrong.
Why?
We had one, we don't have one anymore.
You can't do this to me.
Why?
How can you?
How can I what?
Abandon me.
Why should not I?
It is not proper.
Not proper for whom.
For both of us.
Don't drag me with you.
But what happened to the relationship we had?
It was a one sided one.
What do you mean?
It was all your side of the relationship.
Means?
Only you benefited from this and still are.
How can you say so?
Look at the past and see what have I gained from this.
I don't know. But why do you need to gain?
Why should I not gain?
You are a good person. Why do you want to gain something from this?
Why I should not?
Then you are exploiting me.
Nobody exploits anybody.
You wanted something from me, but did not give anything in return.
Why should I?
If you don't are you not selfish?
No, I am not.
You just want to take, what you want, not give anything in return.
Why do you expect any return from me?
Is it no right?
No, when I am involved it is not right.
This
is what your problem is.
What??
You are unable to think what others expect from you.
And?
And when sometimes you know, even then you tend to ignore it.
I don't agree to that.
I had told you already, that you don't understand.
Enough!
What do you want from me?
Friendship
I want your friendship.
But it cannot be one-sided.
How can you say that it is one-sided?
Well in this case I
can give you reasons.
What reasons?
See in any friendship there should be some respect for each other.
Are you saying that I don't respect you?
Yes, and not only me, but lot of others also.
How?
When you are with someone, somewhere, you are not bothered about them, even if they are your friends.
How can you say that?
When you are with somebody, you just don't care about them.
What do you mean?
When your dream comes calling, you just ignore who is with you.
No, I don't.
What does it mean if you leave people stranded in middle of nowhere, when you are happily day-dreaming somewhere else.
I haven't done this.
Yes you have, and that too many a time.
Who says so?
If it was just me, I would have considered it an exception, but I am not the only one who has suffered.
You consider your ignoring of me an insult.
Yes, I do.
Bullshit!
I told you, you don't have meta-thinking.
Okay. This is one where else I do not fit in.
Well you never seem to have time for us.
Yes, I am very busy person, so many things to do.
So is that my fault?
No.
Have I ever said to you, that I don't have time, when you have asked for some.
I don't know.
And how many times have you said that you don't have time, when I wanted some of yours.
I have already told you, I am a busy person, so many things to do.
So am I, but still I
do find time when friends call upon me.
So do you mean I am lying.
No.
Then?
What I mean is, if you
want, you can always find time.
But I cannot.
Who are you fooling now?
What do you mean?
Don't you always find time for somethings or someones.
You are again interfering with my life.
So be it, but it bothers me a lot.
How does this bother you?
For me when somebody says, I don't have time, I feel the person does not want to be with me.
Another one of your crappy things.
Yes, but I am like that.
So what do I do?
I have told you already.
What?
Go away.
But we can talk.
No.
Why?
I don't want to.
Why?
You have given me enough pain already.
So have you.
Yours were self made.
No you gave them to me.
You could have avoided them easily.
How?
Maybe you should have avoided me.
But that is what I don't want.
You are not sure what you want and what you don't.
How can you say that?
You like me and you hate yourself for that, don't you?
How can you say that?
I can meta-think at least a bit.
Bullshit, these are your self-gratifying thoughts.
So be it, and here the dialogue ends as there is nothing more left to talk about....
adios.......
Can you not see the spider above and below?
